Cool things I learned

Okay funny stuff that happed in Aachen

On the way to the Dusseldorf train station, I'm trying to get all of my things ready to jump out and run when I hear Dorothee say "No Paula, no one farted. I just blew the horn." This got my attention. Evidently the words for fart and honk are very similar in German so Paula got them confused. But really- that's hilarious!

When I was going to ride the motorcycle with Dietmar he knocks on my door and hands me two pairs of leather pants to try on to see if they fit. OMG Leather pants! I have never worn them before but I can tell you this. A pair of leather pants can turn a butt into an ass. Really! It's very cool. I just thought you would appreicate my insight.

Two Things I Learned while in Düsseldorf

I went out into the city today. I learned two things:

It doesn't matter if I take a very impressively detailed map with me, I will still get lost my first day in a new city. It's irritating. Although by then finding myself off the beaten path and forcing myself to learn my way around, the second day I am then usually an expert. However, Düsseldorf simply does not hold much appeal to me. Good stores. Mayer's (A book store here in Germany) has an excellent English books sections here, (which I was somehow able to restrain myself from buying anymore) and yet it has no cool old buildings, impressive history, or fun (at least to me) museums. Dorothee suggested the K21, which is a modern art museum with art just from this century (so about 8 years) and that just doesn't hold the appeal to me that impressionism and other older forms of art hold. Ah well. So I visited got lost, and figured out with the map where I was while sitting in a small cafe drinking black tea, and eating apple cake with sliced almonds on top. Lovely.

Okay, the second thing I learned is that I have restraint. I seriously saw a woman who looked to be dressed in Gucci, Chanel, Prada, Armani etc. She was just decked out. She was walking next to a reasonable dressed man too. And I really wanted to take her picture. Unfortuantely she may have asked why. Then I would have been forced to tell her: "Although you seem to have good fashion sense, you are by far the ugliest woman I have ever seen in my life. Your face looks like a jigsaw puzzle, you seem to have tattooed arched eyebrows, you look like you have had daily face lifts for the past 70 years, and you have obviously been dying your hair blonde for the same amount of time. So much so that it looks to be falling out of your head and you resemble the crypt keeper. I mean, I think with one look at this woman Hannibal Leckter (I'm sooo not spelling that name right) would have lost his appeitiate. Which brings me to the man. Who, seeing at he was obviously WITH this woman. Had a large, capital letters, bold, flashing sign plastered to his forehead which read: KEPT.

With all of this taken into consideration, I figure she wouldn't have wanted to hear what I had to say, and it's really just as well I didn't bring my camera with me.

Top Ten things People didn't Warn me about before coming to Germany

Things people didn't warn me about before coming to Germany:

1. Yeah, I'm short here. Or at least I'm surrounded by tall people. Alex is 6'4", Dorothee is 6' and my friend Melly is 6'1". I'm SHORT!! This is, of course, an entirely new experience for me.

2. The marshmellows here don't catch on fire. That's right they don't. They carmelize and bubble a bit, but they don't catch on fire as proper marshmellows should. This was bizarre to me.

3. There are no cheerios. So I'm going to go cry in the corner now.

4. Mechanical pencils are unheard of, and a single mechanical pencil will set you back 4E. So about 7 dollars. Uh, yeah.

5. Those people who took English in school will either A. Have forgotten all of it. or B. Be to shy to speak it with you.

6. Even if you tell Germans to speak slowly in German, they will ignore you.

7. It is EXTREMELY illegal to talk on the Cell Phone while driving.

8. Though most roads look to be wide enough to be a one way street, they are really two way streets and everyone just takes turns.

9. Popping your knuckles will make EVERYONE near you turn their head and grimace. They give you a look like you just stabbed yourself with a rather crude knife.

10. Coming home at 2:30am is fine, but 6am is better. (So says my host mom.)