Pour Some Sugar on Me

This weekend, I have every intention of putting myself into a self-induced sugar coma. (Just bought supplies for this special endeavor- and no Dorothee, I won't hand them over). If successful, and I get to jittery- I have new books in my room to keep me out of the way. But with enough sugar I think it eventually coats your heart and things don't hurt as much. I appreicate all the support from my friends. Since my post yesterday I did get some new information. There is one thing which, for the last six months this has been tearing me up, I had not been told. I found out that this trip was originally a Nikki and Toby trip which my parents butted in* on. So technically it was not a "family" trip to begin with. It just turned into one. Does that make it right?

Not sure. I do know two things:

1.) I should have been told about this little fact.

2.) It should have come from my family.

(Though my informant is close to being family)

I still feel like it is as though the whole family +1 is coming to my backyard and I'm not allowed to come outside. And no matter what they say, it still hurts.

I know there's not much they could do at this point to make it better. Even if I were invited at this point- I wouldn't want to go. It would be Senior Prom all over again. Going to make others happy. Though the whole time I would know I wasn't really welcome or wanted. Hell, Senior Prom ended with me running out crying, driving home, stripping of my beautiful white dress and crawling into bed to cry.

* I've been requested to put in a side note. It was not "butting in" they were "invited" to join. But the point is that it was a "Toby and Nikki" trip to start with. Then the parentals were added. It was not an "all together from the beginning" trip.

In the Air again, I can't wait to be in the air again....

I'm getting ready to head back to Germany in an hour. I've really enjoyed my time at home, but I'm ready for the next half of my adventure in Europe. I'm really going to miss somethings here- HOLLY!!! I'm really not looking forward to the flight though. I'm really hoping I can at least make it back without all the trouble I had coming here. Well, I've got to sign off and make sure I have everything I need. See ya in Germany!