Hold me like you'll never let me go. Cuz I'm leaving on a jet plane

I don't even really know where to begin. I could start with 'Dorothee kicked me out of the house' or I could go with 'Well, folks, I'm going to be home tomorrow. Even though I should be home in two more weeks'. But I think I'll go with 'My heart is breaking, not for no longer seeing my host family, or because I wasn't allowed to tell the girls bye- but because I now have next to no time to tell my friends good-bye.'

I could write all that happened- and it may be easier for me to write it here, rather than repeat it over and over later- but I'm so emotionally drained that... itt's just that it all hurts to much. I feel so betrayed. But beyond my feelings connected to the family- I'm mostly hurting because I have to leave my friends.

Things between me and Thomas are as usual a rollercoaster. Though we are currently friends if nothing else- I still love him, and telling him bye hurts. I knew it would. But it's better than when we are not good. I told Marion and Kalbchen good-bye yesterday. I told Sarah bye just an hour ago. In the morning at 6:30am Judith, Melly, Little Sarah and I will go to the airport to drop me off before they all go to work. And I will say good-bye to the rest. My flight is at 1:20pm. Luckily, instead of waiting 6 hours on my own, Thomas is going to come to the airport- or I will go to his house- and we will hang out after I have checked in until it's time for me to go back and go to the gate. Thank goodness he doesn't work until 1pm- otherwise this would be a very lonely wait.

I'm happy to go home. I just want more time here. It's just not enough. I don't feel sad about not seeing Dorothee or Alex again- at this point I'm too betrayed and hurt. I wish I could have told the girls bye- but I was never really very close to them. There has been so much I could not say on this blog before because Dorothee read it. But now... well, just because they weren't posted, doesn't mean I didn't write it all down.

This year has been.... interesting. I've learned much- and much of it was learned the hard way. I probably could have avoided a lot of trouble if I had just listened to other people. But I don't think I would have really learned anything then. Or at least- not as much.

I've just been trying to enjoy my final time here, and I have. On Thurday Judith and Melly picked me up and took me to Judith's house. We then cracked open the wine. Friday I went to Kindi with Judith and then left to go see Thomas and then to cancel my bank account and other stuff. Then I met up with Judith and Melly again in Wendlingen (where Judith lives) and we went to dinner at an Italian restaurant and then to see Harry Potter 6 in German. It would have been better had Melly and I not slept through it. Saturday I went shopping for plane stuff with Melly then went and had lunch with her and her family. We then picked up Little Sarah and the whole gang met at Judith's to go eat at DockSeven in Esslingen with live music and then we went dancing at Dick until 3am. This morning I went to the Fildorado to hang with Thomas for two hours before I went to Esslingen to meet with the gang for brunch. Since then we got ice cream and have been hanging at Judith's since then. Relaxed and chilling. My stuff is packed, and... this song is hitting close to home. So I will finish with it.